BOOBOO, BINGBING, SING-SING DO TIME-TRAVEL FOR NEXT X-MEN

Gotta love these names. Young actors playing small roles in Bryan Singer's new X-Men film Days of Future Past include Booboo Stewart and BingBing Fan. 

Hopefully Singer will do a much better job using the writer's gimmick of time-travel than JJ Abrams did with his "alternate timeline" for Star Trek. 

TREK BLECHH

2017 UNTIL THE NEXT STAR TREK?

Viacom/Paramount needs to cut JJ Abrams loose from the next Star Trek. Abrams is committed to Star Wars VII and that won't even come out until 2015, so four years, people, that's what they expect you to wait for another. There is no reason they can't turn these films around in 18 months if they bring in a new creative team. They can start with cast changes. I always wanted Karl Urban to play Spock long before the reboot was ever announced. Here's what he'd look like in the part. And here's Gabrielle Union as Uhura. 

INTERLUDE

Love the reverb
 

SYFY's DEFIANCE

You know how you get embarrassed for someone else sometimes? You just cringe as they make a fool of themselves. Well, watching Defiance is like that. I've yet to make it through an entire episode. Egads, but this show is bad. Ugly and cheap are the two key words to describe it. You might throw in dumb too. I've read that SyFy spent a lot of money on this ... it sure doesn't show. It looks like a backlot most of the time. I've also noticed several names associated with Battlestar Galactica attached to this show - mostly writers and producers. The main faults with Defiance are the production design, art direction, terrible alien conceptions and costumes, set dressing and cinematography ... and the cast of characters. Every hackneyed archetype and the most cliche dialogue pollute this show. It is a shame to see Graham Greene's talents being wasted in this C-grade claptrap. There is nothing even approaching an original idea anywhere in this show. Hopefully it will die a mercifully quick death.

JJ PISSES AGAIN ON STAR TREK

The core of being a Vulcan is mental discipline and control of one's emotions. In yet another departure from canon, JJ Abrams version of Star Trek now has not only kissypoo Spock but a screaming Spock. Once again a clear indication that Abrams is utterly dismissive of the original concept for the show and its canon.

What made Amok Time such a compelling episode was Spock's intense efforts to control his emotions per his culture despite the burn of animal lust. For shame.

IT GETS WORSE: THE JJABRAMIZATION OF STAR TREK

Oooh, "darkness" - guess we better make the bad guy's super-Transformer ship actually dark - as in black (or dark grey), and the bridge will have a black floor instead of a red floor! What a "creative" meeting that must have been between JJ and the production designer and CGI team. (And note the cutout section of the saucer - WTF?)I guess it slipped their minds to give the villain a black cowboy hat.

JJ Abrams really just doesn't like Star Trek because he keeps overlaying non-Trek elements onto it. It is also lazy thinking and writing. First time round we had time-travel and alternate time-line (and red matter) to explain how he was just going to chuck whole elements out the window (our characters earning their positions and the planet Vulcan) and "reimagine" them and now we might be getting mirror universe hooey or, worse, some S.H.I.E.L.D.-like secret organization called Section 31 from the ancillary novels (nothing that has been in the films or any of the good television series). Gah, such hack writing. 

J'ACCUSE JJ ABRAMS: YOU DON'T GET NOR RESPECT STAR TREK

Let's get this out of the way: JJ Abrams is vastly overrated as a writer and director. As a composer, I like him. As a producer, he's come up with some interesting projects but they rarely are cohesive and usually don't have good endings (LOST, Fringe, Cloverfield).

His second whack at Star Trek is due to come out soon (Star Trek Into Darkness), and it looks pretty terrible. The recent publicity stills features chicks and guns. JJ Abrams clearly does not understand or else intentionally disrespects Star Trek.

Spaceships, aliens, big themes and a journey of discovery - that is Star Trek. [When I reference Star Trek, I refer to the original series (TOS) as it is the only one that matters]

I am so hopeful he'll bow out of the next installment of Star Trek or that Viacom/Paramount will release him after "...Into Darkness" falls below expectations so he can then instead concentrate on reviving that tired Star Wars franchise.

As I noted in my review of his original Star Trek (linked here), he made ridiculous choices in terms of story, characters, casting, special effects and especially in his "re-imagining" of his alternate timeline of the story. The most egregious faults were his brewery subbing as the Engineering section, 40 shuttles, bug-eyed aliens and dwarf rock-monster aliens, the stupid swivel phasers, cheap-looking sets, the nauseating Spock-Uhura romance,  and especially the Plot Scrambler that put the right characters into the right chairs. The new film looks pretty bad, frankly. If the villain turns out to be Khan, Tremaine, Mudd, or a fucking tribble, who cares? It is not Trek- he's making Star Impossible Trek Mission.

Many fans already are quite apprehensive or outright dogging Star Trek Into Darkness given the storyline, trailers and promo visuals. Clearly it is not a spaceship on a journey (remember the "five-year mission"?), there don't seem to be any space battles, our hero (Kirk) is once again tentative and cocky whereas the Kirk of TOS was a man of high achievement and confidence. We get Spock vs. the Volcano for a sub-story that just seems idiotic even in the trailer (they couldn't beam the bomb into the volcano?). And the focus is on the villain - played by Brit-of-the-moment Benedict Cumberbatch (who got cast based upon his work in BBC's Sherlock Holmes reboot). Obviously Abrams and his creative team are trying to recapture the magic of the best of the films, Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan - which boiled down to a test of wills between good guy Kirk and over-the-top villain Khan (in a brilliant hammy performance by Ricardo Montalban). 

Abrams has had such a full plate over the years what with all his television series and other projects, it is hard to know how many of the bad choices are his. My insider at Paramount tells me that Abrams is very hands-on and often wants changes and to go over something several times before giving approval, so the blame should fall to him. It is his production company and his impramatur. I also blame his writers, Roberto Orci and Alex Kurtzman. They crafted the clunky dialogue and the terrible plot of the first film.  They did some fun campy stuff (Xena, Jack of All Trades) in their early career but their big movies have been pretty lame: Cowboys and Aliens, Transformers, The Island. [Gah! Update: I checked the credits and Damon Lindelof is also a writer on this one - now for sure it will suck]

I sure hope Sumner Redstone of Viacom and Brad Grey of Paramount decide to cut Abrams loose from the next Star Trek. Any number of directors and writers could take over the franchise and keep the basic JJ reboot aesthetic and work with the story developments (and problems) Abrams, et al brought to it. I still think Dean Parisot deserves a crack at a Star Trek film since he's already made the best one (GalaxyQuest). 

To fix it in the third film the new writer and director will need to work with the cheap gimmick of time-travel that Abrams, Orci and Kurtzman injected into the mix with 2009's Star Trek. It is fixable, but hamstrings the process. In my next post on this subject I'll show how it's done.

STUNNING - MAGNETIC FIRE LOOP ON THE SUN

ENTERPRISE DESTROYED YET AGAIN

Paramount released a few more frames in their "new" trailer during the Superbowl broadcast (I found it online) and, sure enough, they're destroying the Enterprise once again. How many times now? The original series had an Enterprise in jeopardy, which the intrepid crew rescued (and themselves) again and again. I'm so sick of these characters represented with self-doubt, with traitors among them, and the ship getting destroyed nearly every time out. What an utter lack of imagination. Please, JJ, break your contract and don't do a third Star Trek.

4 KAMCHATKA VOLCANOES ERUPT

Link to article with pics and vid

YEA! NO MORE JJ ABRAMS STAR TREK

Now that JJ Abrams is off to do Star Wars he will be released from doing a third Star Trek if we're lucky. It is doubtful Paramount (Viacom) will still want him on their franchise while he's off at Disney doing Episode VII. I can't stand what  JJ has done to Star Trek - basically I think he's pissed all over it with his stupid variations on the characters, poor writing (Plot Scrambler puts people in the right chairs), and lousy visual choices. Further, he made it for kids, very dumbed-down and with a tentative Kirk and that ridiculous Spock-Uhura relationship.  I couldn't care less what he does with Star Wars. As far as I'm concerned there is only one great Star Wars film (the first) and another that is very good (Empire Strikes Back) - all the others are forgettable (with the exception of the scene of a legless Anakin struggling as he burns next to a river of lava).

 Hey Paramount, hire Dean Parisot for the next Star Trek - he's made the 2nd best Trek movie already (GalaxyQuest). 

INTERLUDE - ONE OF THE MOST BEAUTIFUL SONGS EVER

LOOPER ILLOGIC

I'll just list the dumb: 

 1. It is 2044, the future. Young and old versions of Looper character look nothing alike - despite some extensive make-up. Joseph Gordon Levitt has a wide, triangular face and Bruce Willis the perfect oval egg shape.

 2. Looper character is basically a douche-bag with no redeeming qualities, so don't know why an audience would like him 

 3. Young and old versions occupy the same space and time and even touch but don't zap each other into oblivion amid a shower of sparks for some reason.

4 . Production design and set-dressing are terrible - cheap-looking and unimaginative attempt at a dystopian future ... really terrible, especially the street scenes in the city.

 5. Obvious, cliched or gimmicky atmospherics: driving a Miata, wearing ties, eye-drop drugs, 90s nightclub, retro roadside diner, and the blunderbuss. 

 6. Farm Woman lives all alone with the Most Important Kid in the World (MIKW) and must shoo away trespassers regularly but leaves the house and barn open and lives her life like she's in a pharmaceutical commercial. 

 7. Older Looper is determined to make sure he can re-set time so his lady-love won't get whacked 30 years hence in his future-future-past 2074, yet doesn't see as his highest priority protecting his younger self when it has already been established that the mob bosses from the future want first-and-foremost to kill the younger version because that erases the older version. He could have just chained Young Looper to a wall somewhere and done his business and come back to free him later.

 8. Time-Machine looks like a leftover piece of junk (a pressure-chamber with hoses and wires) in an abandoned industrial warehouse - and why wouldn't the future mob bosses send their victims straight to the bottom of the sea or into the incinerator and skip the Looper middlemen (and paying them)? Yet another of Gen-X, Gen-Y, Millennial aesthetic choices in film to make a dull-looking future and special effects (K-PAX, Children of Men) with an insulting simple blur for the time-travel effect.  

 9. MIKW has telekinetic powers - woo. Turns out other people do to, but this is just a plot device to set up the kid's character who will somehow change everything in the future future future ... so the story veers from older Looper wanting to re-set his past to make sure he can live happily past his 30-year expiration date to needing to kill MIKW because he'll destroy everything in the future future future. Dumb. 

 10. You've seen it all before, in Outer Limits episodes, Twilight Zone episodes, and various sci-fi films. 

 Random Dumbness: Kid shows younger Looper secret tunnel to hide from hit-men at farmhouse but they expose it and exit from it once the immediate threat is gone;  Farm Woman is so worried about assassins and regular homeless/vagrant intrusion onto her property that she is always swinging an axe at a tree-stump and wielding her rifle and being alert, but has time to sit in her house with the doors unlocked and open and beckon young Looper for some sex in the middle of the night;  a Miata;  an assassin falls in love with a hardened hooker who seems to have zero feelings?;  everyone misses at close range when they fire guns even after one character talks about how accurate his aim is with his favorite weapon;  jet air-bike thing;  young Looper goes back to his apartment  right away once he finds out his mafia boss wants him dead;  Farm Woman takes forever getting truck loaded to escape and drives off with gas nozzle still hanging out of the truck (full snark on that one: a key example of terrible prod. design choices);  KIKW flips turck and nearly kills his mom and himself rather than just telekinetically making older murderous Looper's weapon go bye-bye. 

#11, and the pièce de résistance: Young Looper decides suddenly to be noble and break the loop by killing himself when nothing in his character nor backstory, especially the future-past life of his older self, would lead you to believe he had that in him or would ever do it. Further, the kid already TK'd a blast wave and why wouldn't he just wish older Looper into the cornfield as he kept coming anyway?

AMERICAN HORROR STORY GENIUS BIT

AHS got much much better the past few episodes and last night's had a moment of pure genius. Jessica Lange's character has returned to the community room after an intense electro-shock session and while choosing a song on the new jukebox has a vision A better quality imaged version of the vid can be found in this io9 article here

LEXX: CREATIVITY EXPLOSION

Been re-watching all of LEXX ... amazing how insanely creative that show was and what they were able to achieve with a limited budget. So wonderful how the throughline of the story has a such a resonant and poignant payoff in the final episode ... and along the way they spoof Star Trek, The Wizard of Oz, Brigadoon, Dracula, Survivor, survivalists, Apocalypse Now, internet porn, and so much more ... just genius.  

EXTENDED STAR TREK TRAILER LEAKS ON RUSSIAN SITE

The extended trailer doesn't have a whole lot more than what's been in the two shorter trailers: It starts off like a car commercial, then they go to Professor X's School for Mutants (oh it's a hospital), some nobodies give a white rabbit stuffed animal to a sick kid ... Cumber's Batch appears and says "I can save her" ... natives chase Kirk and McCoy on the Red Plant planet ... Kirk shoots another dumb-looking CGI creature left over from Lucasfilm and the phaser sounds like a Photon Torpedo (garage-spring clang) ... lots of fake drama: Sulu "We can't take this heat" - then why are you piloting a shuttle craft into a volcano? ... more of the nauseating Uhura-Spock kissy-kissy ... lousy pilot (remember the parking brake?) Sulu clips some rocks and has to dump Spock - who somehow doesn't break all his ribs and legs falling that far ... Sulu and Uhura ditch the shuttle (why didn't they just use a transporter in the first place? ... oh that's right, JJ Abrams' lazy writing is mistaken as drama) ... Kirk and McCoy jump off a cliff and swim like dolphins to the submerged Enterprise (no, really) ... Scotty is now wearing red and we are told the "salt-water is not good for the engines" (oh, dear) ... Spock sets up some overly-complicated volcano-neutralizing device on a rock in the middle of a lake of magma (again, couldn't use transporter to put it there?) ... In sleek but overly decorative Speedo unitards Kirk, McCoy and Uhura are all now back on the bridge and going to save Spock - lots of shouting ... cut back to Spock having a Volcano-gasm ... cut to snippets of what we've seen in the other trailers

STAR TREK VILLAIN FAKE-OUTS BY JJ ABRAMS

The latest PR for Star Trek (Into Darkness -blechh) is that a glorified extra from the original series (TOS as the die-hards call it) is the new villain. Some think it is a fake-out that it is Khan masquerading as this guy. Lame choice either way. Garth would be a better pick than Khan or this guy Harrison. JJ Abrams is pissing all over the glory that was TOS. Oh, Kirk, look out behind you - giant unnecessary hole in floor.

BRAVURA ACTING IN BATTLESTAR

Been watching the series again - the mini to midway through Season 2 and it really is a travesty that the superb work done by so many of the actors on the show was never formally acknowledged by the industry. Mary McDonnell should have won at least a couple of SAG/Emmy/Golden Globes and Katee Sackhoff and Tricia Helfer should have won at least one or two as well. James Callis and Michael Hogan in the men's dept. should have at least been nominated. Honorable mention to Lucy Lawless. Such a treasure this show (at least through Season 3).

BLAND BLOND BOND

Skyfall was entertaining but a weak entry into the Bond franchise. The always watchable Javiar Bardem hams it up deliciously as the villain - doing a more animated, gay twist on his killer from No Country for Old Men. Adele's opening title song is evocative of the best Shirley Bassey versions. Those are two out of the 3 good things about the movie.

They went lo-tech for this entry - no Moonraker lasers or underwater cars and such ... in fact the whole film is a very intentional reboot to the classic roots of the first Connery films, but too obviously so. We can see, you don't need to tell us too.

I sure hope this is the last film with all the touchy-feely emotional bullshit that has ruined the Bond franchise. Fight, fuck, kill ... and see the world, that's the Bond we want. No remorse, no introspection - just a nice dash of wit and élan.

Now that mother is out of the picture (*spoiler* they kill off Judy Dench's M) they've given us a black Moneypenny (who is a bit annoying) and new male M - both meant to evoke the originals (same basic office layout -but now with window!).

The movie excels in the lush color-palette (except for the ugly color of that padded leather door to M's new office) and production design ... beautiful to look at but pretty pedestrian in terms of exposition. All the dialogue about getting old, being too old, made you think you were watching Star Treks II, III and IV - I was waiting for M to say, "Chasing around the galaxy is for the young."

We don't want a Bond that fails his proficiency tests, who has doubt, who gets shot, who has touching memories of his orphanage and cries when Mommy dies.

The new Q (a wasted use of the very capable Ben Wishaw) gives Bond a gun which he promptly loses to a overlarge CGI Komodo dragon and, when on the run, Bond it seems has an extra car stashed away (retro nod) but doesn't have extra weapons? Even Hit Girl in KickAss had a room full of weapons. The improvised weapons of the giant Scottish manse were dumb.

Cliche after cliche, you felt the movie dissapating as you got up from your chair - nothing truly creative, nothing memorable and only one scene that actually got your full attention - when Bardem makes his Frank'n'Furter elevator entrance and proceeds to weird-vibe Bond just by talking while Bond is bound to a chair.

EPS 3, 4 BLOOD & CHROME

Blood & Chrome Eps 3 and 4

BSG BLOOD & CHROME IS AWESOME SO FAR

Stupid stupid SyFy Channel. And NBC (since they own BSG). Blood & Chrome's pilot is absolutely terrific. The first two installments of the "web series" (the pilot chopped up) are better than anything that dumb channel has had its line-up in foreva. 
Ep 1

Ep 2

The kid playing Adama is way too good-looking but plays the part well. The production design is bangin' - with just enough difference to cheat the timeline and tie the shows (BSG, Caprica) together. The other actors are all good too. The story moves and there is a very visceral feel to the whole thing. Crisp and smart dialog so far. Kudos to those who made this. You should be working on a series if there was any justice in this world.

BLOOD AND CHROME VERY SOON

Blood & Chrome is coming soon it turns out ... in fact, in just a few days as an online series ... as reported here ... new trailer below. Basically it is the pilot they shot for a regular tv series chopped up into pieces.

AMERICAN HORROR STORY NOT AS GOOD THIS SEASON

Let's get right to it - Season II is not half as good as season I.

The Look: What made season I so gorgeous was the color-saturation, the diffusion, the high-style and some forced-perspective. It was warm and glowy. Season II, or AHS2 as I'll call it from here on out is pale, grey, washed-out, has a lot of angle-up shots, and is, frankly, cheap looking.

The Story: Season I had a lot going on but it related to the house and came to a white-hot finale with the birth of the demon child. Constance (Jessica Lange) was the anchor throughout. AHS2 has WAY too much going on and you just wish they'd cut out some of it. I don't care about the damn creatures outside. James Cromwell plays the sinister mad doctor with real menace when it comes to the sex scenes but when he's slicing-and-dicing patients it is campy. Lange's Head Nun character is too all-over-the-place and shows vulnerability never seen in Constance. She is a contradiction on many levels - cracking up about the hit-and-run she committed in her past; unaware an evil spirit has taken over her little innocent nun helper; doesn't know about the mad doctor's creatures; is easily manipulated into getting drunk despite being a reformed alcoholic ... and on it goes. The writing is much weaker in this version.

The Modern Story: I don't give a damn about the creepy murderer in the abandoned hospital and skanky hipsters that trespassed and the mayhem that has thus ensued nor do I see how they'll link it to the '64 story.

Characters: Zachary Quinto's psychiatrist character is so far a massive bore. The subplot with the lesbian reporter started out strong and now is lame - again weak writing. If they had made her girlfriend smarter, so she didn't fall for the Head Nun's scheming, she could now be playing Velma from Scooby-Doo and solving the mystery; the sex-addict girl is okay but the dialog is too contemporary in places; the razor-cut-hair girl - so far is a blank and I don't care about her. The earnest but ambitious priest is so far rather a bore too.

The Demon/Exorcism: too literal and too specific - didn't the writers see The Exorcist? Vulgar displays of power are not the Devil's way. And the possessed young nun killing the devout "Mexican" woman - too direct and vulgar a display of power. The Demon subplot is veering strongly into camp, and not in an intentional way.

The Alien: Why this was included in the story is beyond me. Unless the show's creator and the writers can cleverly marry the story of demons, ghosts and aliens in some way (and I don't see how without it being ridiculous), it will be a waste. The alien looks like the cheapest, fake bit of foam you've ever seen. Some smoke would work wonders on this show - hiding the cheapness of the sets, the poor lighting, and the obvious sound-stage look to theshow. 

I really don't know what the shows creators are after. Hopefully they won't fuck up so badly that AHS does not get renewed for Season III ... I really want them to return to the Constance storyline for Season III. What Constance needs is a female rival for access and interaction with the demon child as the fulcrum upon which that season's storyline could pivot. 

C'MON HBO, BUY UP BLOOD & CHROME

Finally saw the whole trailer - looks good. SyFy has let this project languish and basically die because it is too expensive for their new 99cent Store business model. Only HBO (or maybe Showtime or FX) could foot the bill and commit to doing this properly. If the show has the propulsive action and storytelling of the trailer it would be worth watching. 

Battlestar Galactica: Blood & Chrome Trailer from darky132 on Vimeo.
Personally I'd rather they pick up the BSG story from Revelations as if what came after could be wiped from memory and do it right - No Ellen as the Final Cylon, no pigeon, and do it my way Battlestar Variant 1

BRILLIANT SIMON & GARFUNKEL SONG SPOOF

DATA CRYSTALS ARE HERE

Science fiction often anticipates actual technological advance and now the data crystal is real. We've seen them used in Star Trek, Zardoz, Babylon 5 and countless other sci-fi productions.

STAR TREK INTO DARKNESS ... bleccchh

I hate when titles of stories are used in the story *ding ding* "I'm saying the title in this line of dialog, are you paying attention?" and I can't stand Star Trek using trek in a sentence - yuck. It was cringe-worthy, when in an otherwise excellent installment in the film series, First Contact, actor James Cromwell had to say that line "on this star trek" or some such. Now we get word that JJ Abrams has titled his new Star Trek movie Star Trek Into Darkness. Isn't the whole exploring darkness as a theme kinda played out? Is it literal darkness? That was done best in a Voyager episode with these creatures that lived in a dark zone (and when it comes to Dark Zones, Lexx has the last word on that). Khan? Charlie X? Tremaine? Harry Mudd? It's looking more and more that Benedict Cumberbatch's villain is going to be Lazarus (from The Alternative Factor) or Gary from Where No Man Has Gone Before ... unfortunately I don't have high hopes for this one.

TROMA MOVIES NOW ON YOUTUBE

Some cheeseball gore and camp now available full-length on YouTube - Troma released 150 of films - link here

BRAIN REBUILDING VIDEO

One protein at a time  - from io9

SLOW SUMMER SILLINESS

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

LATEST BATMAN FILM

I'm not a fan of Christian Bale and Christopher Nolan's version of Batman - especially Bale's gruff mumble-speak ... this hilarious poster spoof for the latest Batman film coming out would make me actually go see it if indeed it did have Adam West ...I don't plan to see the film, so for a review here's Eileen Jones at ExiledOnline