CRAPRICA - TEEN ANGST BEHIND CYLON GOD

I finally saw Ron Moore's DVD-before-TV Caprica. Glad I didn't rush to see it. Egads, I can hardly watch the original Battlestar mini without thinking of what came later (Season 4 and the finale and now Caprica) to pollute such a great show. All the mystery, all the depth and complexity to the story and the characters of the reimagined Battlestar Galactica reduced to god did it and angels walk among us ... and now, it's all a teenage girl's virtual world. Blechhh

Caprica was pretty to look at - not to the level of Baltar's house in Battlestar - and there was some of the moodiness and alien-ness of Battlestar's Caprica representation but it was told to us more than shown and shown poorly (lame tattoos and ganster patois don't count for much).

So the Cylons were created by man: a sleazy defense contractor/computer genius downloads his dead daughter's self-coded avatar into his prototype combat robot so he won't lose the contract, and this snooty, priveleged little smartypants is associated with a private school that thas faculty and students that have secret monotheistic beliefs.

Moore should rename the show All My Robots and put it on the Soap Opera Channel

TERMINATOR TERRIBLE

The trailers looked pretty good, and the advance artwork looked good, but the film itself Terminator Salvation was simply awful.

And what is it with red-eye robots (Matrix, Battlestar, and Terminator)? All these sequels are beginning to feel like the same story: Matrix morphs into Terminator into Battlestar into HAL 9000. This guy McG is a terrible terrible director, absolutely artless and obviously without an ear for dialog. The script? Full of every action movie cliche and high-school level prose. What garbage. And like the cigarettes and fuel for the jet-skis in Waterworld, where did the human Resistance in T4 get all of their military gear? How is it possible for Hollywood to fuck up these iconic franchises? A retarded squirrel could do better. Sam Worthington ... boring. New Chekov as Kyle Reese ... oh please. The little black girl who knows her way around munitions? How multicultural. The Oracle at least offered Neo a cookie, Jane Alexander only gave the little girl a carrot. And did you see the guy in the distance with the blower making smoke in the LA scene were Kyle Reese and the little girl and the Sam Worthington terminator were the only survivors - who was that guy? On the imagination scale 1-100, McG's T4 gets a 12% for originality.