12.17.2012

EXTENDED STAR TREK TRAILER LEAKS ON RUSSIAN SITE

The extended trailer doesn't have a whole lot more than what's been in the two shorter trailers: It starts off like a car commercial, then they go to Professor X's School for Mutants (oh it's a hospital), some nobodies give a white rabbit stuffed animal to a sick kid ... Cumber's Batch appears and says "I can save her" ... natives chase Kirk and McCoy on the Red Plant planet ... Kirk shoots another dumb-looking CGI creature left over from Lucasfilm and the phaser sounds like a Photon Torpedo (garage-spring clang) ... lots of fake drama: Sulu "We can't take this heat" - then why are you piloting a shuttle craft into a volcano? ... more of the nauseating Uhura-Spock kissy-kissy ... lousy pilot (remember the parking brake?) Sulu clips some rocks and has to dump Spock - who somehow doesn't break all his ribs and legs falling that far ... Sulu and Uhura ditch the shuttle (why didn't they just use a transporter in the first place? ... oh that's right, JJ Abrams' lazy writing is mistaken as drama) ... Kirk and McCoy jump off a cliff and swim like dolphins to the submerged Enterprise (no, really) ... Scotty is now wearing red and we are told the "salt-water is not good for the engines" (oh, dear) ... Spock sets up some overly-complicated volcano-neutralizing device on a rock in the middle of a lake of magma (again, couldn't use transporter to put it there?) ... In sleek but overly decorative Speedo unitards Kirk, McCoy and Uhura are all now back on the bridge and going to save Spock - lots of shouting ... cut back to Spock having a Volcano-gasm ... cut to snippets of what we've seen in the other trailers

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